Ode to Float, by Duncan Nelson

I DOTE ON MY ROLE IN THE CELEBRATION

OF FLOAT AT ITS ROCKY NECK FLOTATION

O I shall permit no debunkin’

Of a book whose protagonist’s name is “Duncan” –

For that is the very name of the bard on

Whom falls the duty (he hopes you’ll pardon

His doggerel) to deploy his art

In praise of the prose of JoeAnn Hart!

While JoeAnn calls herself “a mean troll,”

She is also very much a “mean troller”

Through “troubled waters.” Her laudable goal

Is the planet’s salvation. We’re here to extol ‘er

For merging bankruptcy, conceptual art,

And plastic plethora into Float:

A book bound to play a part

In getting our collective goat,

As for sure it got hers. O may we pay heed

And pay honor to the goat that just died,

Yea, butt up against the mounting tide

Of pollution afloat on groundswells of greed.

I have already, of course, been Addled,

In a good sense, by your setting your sights

On an uppity country club scene that straddled

A subtext of Food and Animal Rights,

While ringing choice changes on Mother Goose!

Oh what a lot of fun that book was —

It left me aghast, ‘twas so fast and loose!

And tonight, dear JoeAnn, all the buzz

Is on Float, “Number Two”; and looking to “hat tricks,”

Number Three, no doubt, will tell much about

What we’ll need as we deal with Post-Flotsametrics,

Against which, I’ve no doubt, you’ll raise a loud shout!

We toast you, JoeAnn! May the fuss and commotion

You stir up be wide and deep as the ocean,

And on the way, may we find, per your wish

Recyclable uses for jelly fish,

And from similar innovations commence

To float upwards on bubbles of Common Sense!